I’ve been told I’m strong many, many times in my life. It used to be something I strived for. I wanted to be strong, independent and get things done by myself. And I did, I faced a lot of struggles and problems by myself, I figured a lot of things out by myself and I’ve carried a lot of furniture up and down stairs on my own. 

In a therapy session recently I said to my therapist “I don’t  feel like I’m progressing.” And she looked at me and said “But you are progressing.”

That sent me back to a memory of attending births. How many times have I not supported someone through labor who says “Nothing is happening!” Or “This baby is never coming!” And with certainty I always say: “The baby is coming.” Because pregnancies always end with the baby coming out, sooner or later, in one way or the other. 

A while back I put together a video on my YouTube channel answering some of my most common questions about Hypnobirthing.

In the video you will get these questions answered:

• What is Hypnobirthing?

• When should you take a course/start? 

• Do you have to bring a support person to class? 

• Do Midwives in the delivery ward know about Hypnobirthing? 

• Can you use Hypnobirthing regardless of the birth you have? 

• Do you have to be pregnant with your first child? 

• I am at the end of pregnancy, is it too late to start?

On Saturday she hosted a Cacao Circle. We were only six women, but it was perfect. She had brought this big chunk of cacao that she cut and melted in a pot, mixed with water, honey and chili and let us all be a part in cooking. This cacao came from a friend of hers in the Andes that grows the cacao and harvests it, makes it into bars and chocolate bars. It felt so special to get to taste this specific cacao, to know it’s origin. How often do we not ingest something without knowing where it comes from. Raquel told us about the cacao, what it can be used for, what we should consider when buying cacao, etc. 

Reading is one of my favourite things to do, if you follow me on Instagram this is not a surprise. I usually have one to three books going simultaneously. My kids know when I take a bath I will be in the for a while with a book. So I have decided I will add book reviews to the blog! I mostly read books that fall into the self help genre, but also a lot of books that focus on topics related to pregnancy and birth, so you can expect a mix of that. And then maybe the occasional fictional novel, we will see.

One thing I have always loved is stories. I grew up with my mom either telling me a story or reading me a story at bedtime. When I was old enough to read myself I used to read to myself at night. I have always been a reader, in some periods more in others less. I love novels that cover several protagonists simultaneously and then sometimes they overlap, sometimes not. 

As 2024 started my theme for the year was “A year of flow and ease”. My 2024 was the total opposite of that. What I have told myself a lot in 2024 is “release and let go.” So as we move into this new year I wonder if I even want to have a theme for this year. I don’t like new years resolutions, but I like setting intentions.

As the year is coming to and end I am taking a few weeks off from social media and be more present with my children. But I wanted to end the year with a post reflecting on the year that has passed. When I grew up NYE was my favorite holiday, saying bye to the old and getting ready for the new felt so exciting to me. I love beginnings, I love starting new things, going to new places, etc. I love the new and ever changing.

In less than two days you guys helped me raise 5000kr for the fee I need to pay when applying for ethical approval to start the study I am going to do for my Master's Degree in Reproductive and Perinatal Health at the University of Gothenburg. This study will explore Afro-Swedish women's experiences of racism within Swedish maternal healthcare, an issue that remains largely invisible but has significant consequences for the health and well-being of Black women in Sweden.

One thing that stood out to me was something the teacher said during the history lesson. They were talking about the vikings and she said that during those times women frequently died during childbirth. “This is why we give birth i hospitals now and almost no one dies during childbirth.” I sat there and thought that it’s way more complex than that, but that was obviously not what the class was focusing on.  

“I am looking for a black Doula.” Is something I have been told several times over the last couple of years. As the stats from countries like the UK and the USA show us that being Black and giving birth comes with an array of risks that doesn't affect their non-Black counterparts. In the UK theres a 3-4 fold risk of dying in connections to pregnancy if you are black. These numbers are jarring. We don't have the same stats in Sweden, luckily. Our maternal death rate is low, but we are also a very small population. We however can see in our stats that being born in  Sub-Saharan Africa poses increased risks for negative perinatal outcomes. I will write more in depth about this another time. But the reason I mention this is because what do these people have in common? Being Black. 

I was reading Emilia Bergmark-Jimenez’s book (if you haven’t seen it, get it!) where she wrote about the first birth she attended. It made me think of the first birth I attended and how it’s still so clear in my memory. One of my then very close friends had found out she was pregnant and was embarking on her journey into parenthood alone, just as I had almost two years earlier. I’m not sure how or when we decided I would support her through birth, but we did. Back then I was not a Midwife or a Doula, I was just a mom with one child who during my own pregnancy had read a lot of pregnancy books and decided I wanted to become a Midwife in the future.  

The other night at work I was trying to explain to my coworker who is a Nurse how there’s a hierarchy that exists among Midwives. I first worked with Midwives in 2010 when I was studying to become a Nurse and spent one summer as an assistant Nurse in the Delivery ward. I remember how I noticed it back then already. The Midwives in the Delivery ward had a certain focus: anything and everything that happened during birth. Once the baby was out and the adrenaline of those first moments started to wear off they seemed to disengage. They left us assistant Nurses to help out with breastfeeding, something I had zero training to do. And when it didn’t work they just shrugged and said “They will have to figure that out in the Postnatal ward.” This is when I decided that when I become a Midwife I want to be knowledgeable in breastfeeding and took a specific course in this when I was done with my Nursing studies.

Lately I have been thinking about the differences of being a Midwife compared to a Doula and how they overlap. I have made a video where I talk about this on my YouTube channel as well. Not everyone knows what the differences are.

BB Gårda is currently Sweden’s only birth center. In Sweden the choices to where you gave birth are quite limited. Almost all births occur in hospital because that is, in most places, the only government funded option. The a very few give birth at home with the support of midwives that the birthing couple will have to pay themselves. Barnmosketeamet in Gothenburg have been supporting home births for a long time. Now they have opened the only birth center in Sweden.

After our last Hypnobirthing session one of the couples stayed behind and chatted for a bit. They said that from the three sessions they had attended they could already feel a shift in themselves. There was less fear connected to birth, they felt more ready and empowered. I was so happy to hear that the course is making such an impact on them. I said that I really feel like my last birth (I will share this birth story in the future) really empowered me because I was supported by a midwife that listened to her instincts and didn’t just follow protocol. Her empowering me at my son’s birth showed me how things can be done. It changed how I see my role as a midwife and it made me more brave as a new midwife, because I knew there are several ways to do things. 

Over the years, ever since I became a mom myself, the most commonly asked question I received has been about the birth preferences, or "Förlossningsbrev" as it is called in Swedish.

The questions have ranged from what to include and how long it should be or if the hospital staff actually takes time to read it. I have shared my own “Birth preferences” document with friends and friends of friends. And this was where the idea for this E-book was born.

On Sept 2nd I started the Master’s Programme in reproductive and perinatal health at the University of Gothenburg. It’s a 1 year part time programme, so I will be done in May.

When you find yourself pregnant in Sweden you should contact a prenatal care facility to get in touch with a Midwife. In Sweden all prenatal care is the responsibility of a midwife. If complications arise during pregnancy the Midwife will refer you to the proper care facility or person for further care. 

The number of times you will meet your Midwife during pregnancy may differ depending on where in Sweden you live but also on your individual needs. 

Your first meeting with your Midwife will be as early as possible during pregnancy. This check up is based on giving you tools to be and remain healthy during pregnancy. This will include topics as diet, exercise and overall health. This appointment will usually be early in your first trimester.