Things I learned from my c-section birth
I posted this text on my Instagram page, but decided to take it down and post it here. Since then I have rewritten it a bit for clarity.
Before I had a c-section birth myself I think my idea of c-section births was quite disrespectful. I didn’t fully understand why they happened and how many emotions they could stir up postnatally. I had worked in the delivery ward as an assistant nurse and I had worked as a nurse in the neonatal ward, I had attended many c-sections. Some very dramatic ones and others not dramatic at all.
I always say the biggest lesson I learned from having a c-section birth was how important pain medication is the first couple of days after surgery. I remember how we went for the paediatric check up with my son and I got more and more nauseous. I had to sit in a corner with a bag by my face in case I needed to throw up when my son was examined by the paediatrician because I couldn’t stand. I didn’t understand that it was pain that had caused the nausea. And afterwards I was given Morphine which didn’t help. It wasn’t until the night staff came hours later that I got the pain relief I needed. That Midwife said “Man kan inte hålla på och dutta med Morfin när man har så där ont.” (“You can't give a little here and there of Morphine when you're in that much pain.") And have me full dose of painkillers that finally reduced my pain.
This has taught me that everyone’s tolerance to pain is different and I have to adjust the dose to the person I have in front of me. When I work in postnatal with people fresh out of surgery I always say “I won’t be able to take away your pain completely, but you should perceive it as manageable. As soon as it starts increasing you need to let me know! It’s easier to decrease the pain before it gets too intense.” Not being in pain helps you heal better, you can take better care of your child, you can start moving which is important to avoid blood clots and so on. The first 24 hours post surgery are the worst, but which each day it should get better and better.
I loved working in a hospital where skin to skin after a c-section birth is seen as important and is part of the routine (Ystad). As quickly as I could I placed the baby on their parents chest. Preferably the person who has given birth’s chest, but if not then the other parent or next of kin’s chest. You can give vitamin K, cut the cord and even aid in breastfeeding there in those first minutes. It’s not always possible, but I know first hand how important it is, and research supports this. Skin to skin is important for both parents and baby and should be prioritised!
My connection to my second child was different that my other two. I loved him and cared for him. But the feelings I’ve felt after my vaginal births have been different. To give birth and not be separated from your child is the natural way. Which mammal gives birth and doesn’t see their offspring for several hours? It’s how we are hormonally wired, vaginal birth sets of a cascade of hormones that aren’t triggered during a c-section. This is why skin to skin is so important after a c-section. I felt this strong need to undress my son when I finally got to him, I didn’t plan it, it just happened, and I think that was instinctual.
For me personally the c-section wasn’t a fun experience. But it wasn’t the surgery or the pain an experienced afterwards that was the worst. It was how I was treated by the hospital staff. I remember the good and the bad. And I just wish the people who were experiencing “just another day at work” would have not been a part of my son’s birth story. But through them I also learned how important it is to be respectful, to listen, to hold space and to adapt to the person you have in front of you. And I know, not all people that work in health care are suitable to work in healthcare.
It took me a long time to process my son’s birth and a lot of it came back to the surface during my third pregnancy. I wrote this in my third birth plan: ”I am not scared of giving birth, I fully trust that my body can do this. What scares me are medical interventions and to be overrun by hospital staff.”
Luckily my third birth was attended by an amazing Midwife who will always be special to me. And it was a healing experience that healed some of the wounds I had left from my second birth. I will share that birth story here on the blog soon.
