A New beginning

I kind of went on an unplanned break from the blog in February as my kids and I went on vacation to Cape Town. The best way to get through winter is to take a break from it and experience summer. We did a lot, had great weather and a great time. We saw friends and family, did touristy things and spent time together. I love spending time with my kids (even though half was though I thought I had enough, but then it got easier again). I think if I was married to someone with a good income I would have home schooled my children (not in Sweden though, it’ illegal). I love my kids’ personalities and watching them grow into these great humans. I hope when I’m dead and gone they will think back to all the fun things we have done together and appreciate that their mom wanted to be with them.

I often say I didn’t have kids to not spend time with them. I have made a lot of choices to make sure I get to spend as much time with my kids as I can. A huge motivator for working nightshift for me has always been how I get so much time off which gives me more time and energy for my children. I have learned to prioritize what I take on outside work by asking myself “Is this worth time away from my children?” They won’t be small forever, soon they will be grown and move out, so I want to value the time we have together now. I always tell myself that when I am laying on my death bed will I say “I wish I bought more stuff, or will I say I wish I spent more time with my children?” As long as they want to spend time with me I want to spend time with them.

This trip was exactly what I needed and came at exactly the right time. My theme for this year is A year of healing and growth and this trip embodies that. South Africa always reminds me of who I am and who I want to be. But this time was different. It’s the first time I’m there without my ex and it gave me clarity into things I didn’t fully understand before. During the trip I received small messages of a new beginning, from people saying it to me to finding a pendant with the symbol for new beginning on it at the textile place I always visit when I’m in Cape Town. I am still processing the trip and my thoughts, but feel I have returned more balanced and powerful than I left. Healing is a process, with both good and bad days. But this trip closed a chapter for me. And opened a new one. What a blessing it had been. I am grateful.

Hypnobirthing Unit 1 & 2

“You are so strong”