Even when it scares you

For most of my adult life I have made a conscious decision to say yes to things that are outside my comfort zone. It’s been things like doing photo shoots for different companies, speaking in public or walking over a long wooden bridge (I have a fear of deep water). I think in doing these things I push myself to grow. So now after having done photo shoots sporadically for almost ten years I feel more comfortable in front of the camera. The latest shoot I was actually in a bathing suit which is something I never thought I would do. But part of it was because it was with photographer Rebecca Gustafsson who I love working with and trust fully. 

Small boats scare me. Somehow I agreed to go canoeing with my friends recently.

Over the last decade I have also taken on different speaking engagements. I have been on panels, held presentations and been interviewed. This was something I previously felt was very stressful. In the beginning I would only take on public speaking engagements if I knew what I would say and had prepared for hours beforehand. 

This weekend I was a part of Afrika Block Party. I was invited to be part of a panel discussion with one topic, but the evening before the event I found out that I would be a part of another panel discussion. I was like “Okay then.” My friend said to me “It’s great that you’re so flexible, someone else may have backed out since you agreed to something else and it now changed.” I joked and said “I’m a midwife, I need to be able to adapt to a new situation.”

That is true though. I feel like a lot of things I’ve experienced and been a part of makes me handle stuff like this with ease. A couple of years ago a last minute change may have stressed me out. But in midwifery there are always unforeseen things, last minute change of plans, unexpected emergencies. This is the profession I’m in. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an adrenaline junkie, I don’t enjoy emergency situations. But I’ve learned to evaluate quickly when I need to freak out and when I don’t. A change of topic for a panel discussion is nothing to freak out about. 

Panel discussion at Afrika Block Party

So I showed up at the event, did my best to answer the questions I was asked and learned a lot from the women I shared the floor with. And I had so much fun the rest of the day! If I wouldn’t have said yes to things that scared me in the past maybe I would have said no to this event and I would have missed out on a great weekend in Stockholm as well as connecting with some new people. 

So what’s my point here? That we are whole humans, everything we experience, everything we do, all the choices we make add on to who we become and how we handle things in the future. So preparing for birth or parenthood is not only about reading a book or taking a class, it’s about how you live. Which things you have experienced that you can draw from when life gets tough. If you have been through a lot of unexpected situations in the past you will probably handle an unexpected change in plans during birth better than someone who never experienced any difficulties. If you already have a relaxation practice from before pregnancy it will be easier to use similar tools during birth. Everything in the past has prepared you for this moment, everything you experience right now is preparing you for the future.